My Harmony With the Heron
September 11, 2024 at 10:30PMIn this pensive personal essay, Jarod K. Anderson describes a life of constant to dos and responsibilities, of debt and burnout, of aimlessness and depression. He reflects on how, at a very low point in his life, he rediscovered nature—and found beauty and hope in the wilderness and wildlife of Ohio. This piece is an extract from his new memoir, Something in the Woods Loves You.
After graduate school, armed with a master’s in literature, a loving partner, immense debt, brutal and unacknowledged mental illness, and no plan beyond escaping academia, I entered a grim half dozen years during which I don’t recall ever seeing a heron.
The truth is, I must have seen them. They are dinosaurs when in flight and fairytale creatures when walking the river. Hard to miss. But, somehow, I never noted their presence.
During those years, I was not concerned with herons.
I entered a period in which the world had stopped being a source of wonder. The world was something to fend off. Nature was a ghost in the attic, a memory of childhood. It wouldn’t pay my bills or quiet my persistent urge to end my life. A heron was a half-remembered song from a dead age, a soiled stuffed animal wedged in a storm drain. In those grim years, a wading bird didn’t merit interpretation.
from Longreads https://longreads.com/2024/09/11/my-harmony-with-the-heron/
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