Quitting Xanax: One Writer’s Story

TLC (Teaching and Learning College)

Quitting Xanax: One Writer’s Story

September 06, 2024 at 08:08PM

Novelist Martha McPhee was prescribed Xanax after she had a panic attack in 2006. She started off with a small dose, usually a half a pill or so, used only after an attack or to help her sleep. Little did she know that she was starting an addiction that would last 17 years, one that would put her at additional risk of developing dementia, and one that would be very hard to break.

Xanax is intended for short-term use only, and for targeted situations—panic attacks, fear of flying, and other phobias. It is not a sleep aid and was not approved for treating insomnia by the Food and Drug Administration. Its addictive properties can be difficult to notice but can draw you up short.

In 2023, a new doctor for me, a new life for us all. This doctor didn’t mince words: “You cannot keep this up. You must stop.” She raised the risk of dementia from long-term use. A new shrink said the same thing and explained that I was suffering from rebound anxiety—that desire to race out of my own skin. When I was on Xanax, my anxiety, rather than go away, went into storage mode, where it accumulated only to be released as soon as the drug wore off.

It took a few months for me to gather the courage to quit again. When I finally did, I kept the Xanax canister front and center on my bedside table so I could have a conversation with it. I am not going to be fooled, tempted, provoked by you. Once again, I didn’t taper. (I do not recommend this. It can be dangerous.) It was like I was on speed. I couldn’t sleep. It felt like my brain was ricocheting around my skull, my body sucked into a black hole in the center of me. The fallout lasted a few weeks. I tried meditation, picked up yoga again, practiced breathing. But it was hard.



from Longreads https://longreads.com/2024/09/06/quitting-xanax-one-writers-story/
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