In Defense of Despair
May 21, 2025 at 01:57AMThe piece I’m recommending deals with suicide. If you’re in the US and are having thoughts of suicide, call or text 988 or chat at 988Lifeline.org.
Hanif Abdurraqib attends a support group for people who have gone through periods of wanting to die. He was put in the rotation to lead the group after having reached five years since making an attempt on his life. This essay is a sobering and deeply thoughtful look at what it means to live with despair. Abdurraqib finds different reasons for staying alive, including a beam of sunlight on his skin through torn curtains, the bond he has with his dog, and the poetry workshop he conducts with people in high school. There, Abdurraqib experiences human connection in spoken verse and a shared space in which to respond to the work.
I am asking them, as I am continually asking myself, to imagine a heart that feels a connection to the hearts of others, even others you do not know. I would like to think that this is what nudges me forward, more than some mythological concept of “hope.” In the silence of a room after the reading of a poem, when the only sounds are small gasps and sniffles, I can say to myself that we are all carrying a unique ache, or a unique memory, or a unique desire that the poem ignited. And I would like to know about it. I would like to know what few inches of the wretched world can be made into an adequate space for you to mourn, or to make a plate of food, or to dance in your living room, or to bury something you’ve finally decided to put down.
from Longreads https://longreads.com/2025/05/20/in-defense-of-despair/
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