Speaking Apartment
October 08, 2025 at 03:27AMFor The Paris Review, Jane Sterns offers some humorous advice for New Yorkers looking for their first apartment, as well as a handy glossary of the true meaning of common terms used to describe real estate.
If an apartment is “pet friendly,” you may still pay a large move-in fee for your pet and then a significant monthly rate. You will need to provide vaccination records and other medical certification. Many apartments, especially ones with HOAs, demand your dog have a costly oral DNA swab.
The DNA swab is in case you do not pick up their poop when they are walked. The rental company will be able to match their abandoned poop to the DNA on file, and you will be heavily fined or kicked out of your place of residence. This will then be on a permanent record that will follow you when you try to rent another apartment.
from Longreads https://longreads.com/2025/10/07/speaking-apartment/
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