Why Did the Rubber Chicken Cross the Road?
January 21, 2026 at 10:48PMFor those about to “bawk,” I salute you. I might be navigating middle age with dad jokes, but Byard Duncan had a cluckin’ great idea for weathering his existential dread: serious training with a coop of rubber chickens, one of which he would attempt to throw more than 115 feet, to claim a place in the Guinness Book of World Records. After reading, I wouldn’t challenge Duncan’s throwing arm or his sense of humor.
Just as there is an art to throwing rubber chickens, so too is there an art to practicing the act without detection. In the lead-up to my Guinness attempt, I had taken to training in a local park’s tree-lined corner. The timing of these sessions was critical: I needed to get my reps in before elementary-age children arrived at the after-school program nearby and started asking tough questions: Who are you? Or: Why are you throwing rubber chickens? Or: Do you really think this will cure your nagging sense of abstract forfeit? In times of doubt, I called to mind advice from Cincinnati Bengals quarterback Joe Burrow, who years ago warned the next generation of athletes against turning their workouts into TikTok fodder. “Work in silence,” he advised. “Don’t show everybody what you’re doing.”
from Longreads https://longreads.com/2026/01/21/rubber-chicken-guinness-world-record/
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