Happy Fucking Birthday
June 18, 2026 at 11:24PMDon’t look now, but a certain constitutional republic is turning 250 soon! To celebrate, Christopher Hooks goes to the nation’s capital (and elsewhere) to see what this extremely functional and effective government has planned—you know, apart from the husks of what used to be known as “civil discourse,” “checks and balances,” and “being respected by the rest of the world.” If laughing is the best way to keep from crying, the latest Harper’s cover story should cauterize those tear ducts real nice.
To reassure us, Rios provided a comprehensive list of the Semiquincentennial Commission’s other activities. The most salutary was America’s Field Trip, a competition of a familiar kind, in which students between third and twelfth grade from across the states and territories submit drawings, prose, and essays. Winners are rewarded with a family trip to sites like Yellowstone and Cape Canaveral, and select entries are posted on America250’s website. A fifth grader in Saipan, in the Northern Mariana Islands, won after submitting a drawing of some notable mainland imagery, including the Golden Gate Bridge and a cheeseburger. “Dear Mr. Benjamin Franklin,” wrote a seventh grader from Winterville, Georgia. “In your time, the United States hardly existed. As I am writing this letter, it is almost the semi quincentennial, and BOY does the US exist now!”
from Longreads https://longreads.com/2026/06/18/happy-f-ing-birthday-harpers/
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